Missives

Name:
Location: Rochester, Minnesota, United States

Saturday, April 29, 2006

I love my daughter

I love my daughter.

With every tear and every rage, I love my daughter.

I no longer know what to do to help her and I no longer have the resources to get help for her. But I love my daughter.

I cannot reach her. She will not listen.

I cannot touch her. She will not feel.

I cannot hear her. She does not speak words I can understand.

I love my daughter.

My heart breaks for and with her.

My hands long to hold her and guide her.

My voice longs to sing her praises.

My head searches for the secret key that will unlock all understanding.

I love my daughter.

I love my daughter.

I love my daughter.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Evil Woman


My husband says that when he comes up here he feels like I treat him like nothing more than a cash cow and a babysitter.

Oh my.

I'm actually not opposed to the disrespectful act of treating my husband as a cash cow. I am, after all, a stay at home mom who does a damn fine job with what I have to work with. But isn't he supposed to give money to be considered one? I'm just wondering cuz I've never really had a cash cow before. Of course, this is the man who, just a few months ago, told me that the "only thing wrong with our marriage is that you refuse to accept we'll never be rich." Cuz, you know, that was the impression I got when I married a plasterer who still lived under his parent's roof. But I'm cold and heartless that way.

And I know how dreadful it is to be considered nothing more than a babysitter to your own kids. I mean, it's almost like I expect him to take care of a toddler and a possibly bipolar teenager single-handedly for three or four days a week while cooking all the meals, doing all the laundry (granted, I don't do it nearly as often as I should), pretending to clean the house and doing all the dishes by hand. Goodness, wouldn't that make me a real nag!

I guess I'm just a high-maintenance woman (what with all the hair apointments, pedicures, manicures, massages, and new clothes I'm always getting) with no true appreciation for the incredibly kind and giving man I married.

Damn me.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Bare Necessities


One of the top news stories this evening? How to keep bears out of your yard. No, really. Bears are waking up and, boy, are they hungry. Not that there's a lot of bear activity in the immediate vicinity. But there's a nature preserve about 3 miles away. Just something to think about.

No matter how many people I see when I'm on Block Island, no matter how I arrange it, I can never get to everybody. I missed Lisa and Kathleen and Everett and Verna. And all you others who I don't know if I should mention names or not. I certainly miss the people on the island. Most of 'em, at least...

Never, ever should I go into the WalMart Garden Department on my own. I went for two bags of dirt. I came out with four bags of dirt (they were dirt cheap!), three varieties of daisies and a flowering shrub. I'm hopeless. And I love to dig in the dirt.

Happy Almost May, everybody. In case anybody sees my family, feel free to suggest an iPod as a Mother's Day Present. Or the opportunity to sleep in - as long as I want without being awoken at 8:30 because I've "slept long enough". Either one, really, would be worth it.


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